The everyday life of our Christian, homeschooling family of 6!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Milk sharing ~ My story

This post is definitely one of things that are near and dear to my heart. Milk sharing. Here's my story.

The beginning of my story started over 7 years ago, when I was pregnant with my first child. I was 18 years old and had not lifted a finger to educate myself on pregnancy, childbirth or breastfeeding. I guess I just figured that since everyone else did things a certain way, that was just the way I was supposed to as well. I actually remember trying to call the hospital where I was going to give birth and asking if there was any way I could attend a birthing class when I couldn't afford it, but they turned me away. So, when my son decided to come 6 weeks early, I was completely unprepared. My son was immediately taken to the NICU after his birth a
nd I didn't get to spend time with him until hours later. They would not let me nurse my son in
the NICU for the first few days as he was being tube fed and they said that he was 'breathing too fast' for me to put him to the breast. That if I did he would likely suffocate. What did I know? I was barely 19 years old and had no education on how to breastfeed. I figured the doctors wouldn't lead me astray. So back to my hospital room I went with instructions to rent a hospital grade pump and try to bring some milk to my son. During my first pumping session I *think* I got maybe half an ounce of colostrum between both sides. But I kept on going, pumping every 2 hours everyday. And finally, on his final day in the NICU, they allowed me to hold my baby and try breastfeeding him. I remember thinking that there was nothing 'natural' about it...all the nurses hands all over the place, tubes, wires, strange sounds. I just wanted to take my baby home so that we could try this breastfeeding and bonding thing without all the distractions. After
returning home (with an apnea monitor in tow) he still didn't take to my breast well. He seemed totally disinterested, and in my frustration, I just pumped and fed him via bottles. Never once
did I have anyone support my decision to breastfeed, and in fact I had quite the opposite. All the doctors and family members kept saying, "Just give him formula. You can't keep pumping and feeding him. It's too hard." And after a month of pumping and feeding him through bottles, I gave up. It's so hard to type those words and all the emotions come flooding back to me. I gave up on my son. I gave up on giving him the best. To this day I still feel as though I failed him. Even though my son was a preemie, I never heard a single thing about milk banks or donated breastmilk. Never.

So, when my second child came along, I still had all those negative thoughts in my mind, but I
really did WANT to be successful at breastfeeding her. I had read a little bit on the subject, but still didn't have any local support. I was very happy (and honestly shocked) at how well our breastfeeding relationship started. Within 30 minutes or so of her birth, I was holding her and
attempting to latch her on for the first time. And boy, did she latch on just fine!! She was happily sucking away within minutes and things were just so smooth, I really felt like it was too good to be true. And of course, in my pediatrician's eyes, it was. At her 2 week well-visit, she was an ounce below her birth weight and the pedi was 'concerned' that she wasn't getting enough milk. She asked that we bring her back in a week. 6 days later, she had gained 6 oz, but the pediatrician wasn't happy with that and recommended that I supplement with formula. Looking back now, I know how ridiculous that was, but at the time, I still was not educated on how breastfed babies gained weight after birth. And between trying to find a new job and feed a new
baby, I couldn't figure out how to do both and just ended up putting her completely on formula by a month old. Again, I had failed.

With my third child, I cannot tell you how passionate I was about breastfeeding her. There were simply NO doubts in my mind that I WOULD be successful in breastfeeding my child! I read all I could, talked to women online who had breastfed their babies for at least a year and just really psyched myself up to have an awesome breastfeeding relationship with my baby. When the time came and I gave birth at the birth center, things went just as planned. Within 15 minutes of her birth, I was out of the tub, on the bed and she was latched on for a good hour. It was perfect. I just knew things were off to a great start. I did make sure to set my goals realistically though. My first goal was to make it to 6 weeks. If I could just get to 6 weeks of breastfeeding, then I had
surpassed my previous 'records' and would be really proud of myself. I had no idea that those
first 3 weeks would be so difficult. I was in constant pain. My nipples felt so raw and were even cracking and bleeding. I dreaded each feeding and would cry everytime I tried to latch baby on. My husband was even yelling at me to just go get her some formula. But I adamantly refused. I would NOT feed this baby formula, no matter what it took! At 3 weeks, we finally found out what the problem was. I went to visit a friend of mine who had previously attended births as a doula. She watched me nurse my little girl and noticed that her bottom lip was being sucked under every time she latched. I simply started pulling it out at the beginning of each feeding and....the pain was gone!!! Within a few weeks, everything felt fine and our breastfeeding relationship finally became 'mutually desirable'! The relief and joy that came over me was indescribable. I loved breastfeeding my baby and I wasn't afraid to tell anyone any different.
When I finally hit 6 weeks of breastfeeding my little girl....I'll admit....I was so proud of myself
that I cried. I had FINALLY reached my first breastfeeding goal! And I only had 2 more goals to go....3 months and 6 months of exclusively breastfeeding. When all was said and done, my third child was breastfed for 20 months. She weaned when I was 4.5 months pregnant with my fourth child, and I honestly wish she had gone longer. Just such a beautiful and fulfilling experience.

My fourth child is now 4 months old and hasn't had anything besides mommy's milk from day 1. This is where the milk sharing finally comes into play. I remember that with my third child, I had to pump off some milk before most feedings and freeze it because I had such an oversupply. Eventually I just wound up throwing it all out because we didn't use it and I didn't know that I could donate it. But when my 4th baby was just 2 weeks old, I attended the Global Breastfeeding Challenge and received a flier about the Mother's Milk Bank of North Texas. I was immediately
interested in helping out in any way I could! The challenge took place on a Saturday, so first thing Monday morning, I made sure to put a call into the milk bank to become a donor. They did a quick phone screening, then sent me a packet of paperwork to fill out and return to them, along with a script to go get blood work done to test me for any diseases. I think in all the process took about a week to fully complete, but when all was said and done, I was a MILK DONOR!! And SO happy about it! I had already started pumping the week after the challenge and within a month had collected 100 oz to take to the milk bank. The sense of fulfillment I got from sharing my milk was just as great as when I was finally able to breastfeed my own child successfully past a
month.

Just a few weeks after I had contacted the milk bank to become a donor, another milk sharing
group started up. And through this movement, I have been able to bless a few mamas with milk for their little ones. Eats on Feets was created in late 2010 and local chapters have popped up all over the globe in just a few short months! The whole idea behind EOF is this: breastmilk is a free-flowing resource (as posted on FB by Emma Kwasnica, co-founder of EOF Global) and mamas who are in need of milk should be able to have a place where they can find mamas donating milk without worrying about who gets first priority (usually only preemies get milk
bank milk as they're seen as having the highest need and there isn't enough to go around to all babies in need) or about the cost (milk bank milk averages between $3-$4 PER OUNCE). I immediately joined my local chapter and donated to mamas as I could. I'm currently pumping about 15 oz a day and still have mamas in need that I do not have enough for. The demand in my area is so overwhelming and I feel heartbroken that I cannot help them all. Yet I pump and
donate as I can and my heart is just overflowing with joy when I see those precious little babies thriving! I only wish I knew about milk sharing 7 years ago when I had my son. Maybe I
wouldn't have felt like I had failed. Maybe I still would. But I sure would've known that I had done all I could for my son, that I gave him the best that I could. Now, I'm just hoping that I can bless another family who is in a similar situation, just wanting the best for their baby.

PLEASE...if you are willing and able, go join your local Eats on Feets chapter today and giv
e the gift of mama's milk!!







2 comments:

  1. Girl!! :) You are a rockstar, an inspiration, and s blessing!!! Thank you SO much for sharing, even though I had tears in my eyes. I can so relate to that feeling of failure, but also that feeling of elation when everything just clicks.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I shared this post on http://milkywaymilkshare.blog.com/whats-it-allabout/

    Thank you for helping to normalize milk sharing.

    ReplyDelete